I decided to celebrate the birth of Jesus, by taking my sister out to the local trashy bars in Bergen County. We
started off by going to the Orange Lantern in Paramus, and seeing the one man show, Rich Meyer. He performs
at the OL every Christmas and Thanksgiving. There were all sorts of drinking contests and performances.
Here's a link to the OL’s website, which amazingly had only 465 hits when I just looked at it. That’s pretty
pathetic considering that my shitty site has almost 10 times that many hits.
As entertaining as this was, we didn’t see anyone there that we knew, so we headed over to Hillsdale to the place
where good friends meet; Lou’s Tavern. Not only does this bar always have hot bartenders, but is always
entertaining and this was no exception. It was pretty crowded in there and shortly after taking our seats at the
bar, I had to stop a fight from breaking out. This really scary crazy looking guy wanted to start a fight with
another guy at the far end of the bar, for reasons unknown, and most likely pretty stupid. I talked him out of it
and suddenly he became my best friend. Great. I entertained scary psycho guy, while some other drunks took
a liking to my sister.
Within a short period of time, filthy jokes were being yelled out that ranged from sacrilegious to just plain sick
and twisted. Each person in the bar tried to top the person before him. I almost fell off the barstool a few
times, partly due to laughter and partly due to drunkenness. A short while later a big white trash looking guy
came behind the bar and started trying to serve drinks. I assumed he was the bartender’s boyfriend or
something. Everyone starting yelling at him and telling him to get out of there including the bartender. As it
turns out, this was just a random drunk guy and he routinely tries to go behind the bar and serve people much to
the dismay of the bartender. Eventually I found my sister and myself in the bar with just one or two people and
after helping put the chairs up we went home for the night.
The day after Christmas was Bar Fly Ann and Mary’s birthdays as well as my sisters. There was a huge party
at Ann and Bernie’s house. There was a ton of food and alcohol, including a nice bottle of Patron. For all of
you out there who have never tried it, I would recommend it. It’s tequila, but it is so smooth you can drink it
like a martini. Of course some of us hit the tequila and other hard alcohol pretty early in the party. Here are a
few pics from the night.
